Anonymous asked: How do you keep so fit?
A healthy diet, and a touch of alcohol poisoning.
Yo, Should I Dump This Asshole?
Anonymous asked: I think we should hook up, right now
I know, I’m a total babe
especially in my Snuggie with a shake weight but unfortunately, I’ve never been one for Anonymous sex.
A useful tool for all the ladies out there who aren’t sure if that should dump that asshole.
Note: If you’re thinking about it, you probably should. He’s an asshole. Never the less…FYI.
Hello Social Mixer…
Someone told me that this Alumni Reunion Invitation meant that I was getting old. I think she’s talking some smack - I’ve only been out of school for 1 year. But when I thought about what I would wear, and the only thing that came to mind was pajama pants and a sweater-shirt, I started to agree with her.
I reserved a ticket, and I’m going to get all fancied up for this affair. I’m sure it’ll be like American Reunion, but with a lot of nerds, much less sex, and not
Deets to follow.
Don’t ask me how this became the song of the day…(thanks a lot roommate, #shitcray)
But I discovered that this song, (“True” by Spandau Ballet) is actually the perfect song. Here’s why:
- Perfect for entertaining guests (easy listening without overpowering conversation)
- Perfect for singing in the shower
- Perfect for happy occasions
- Perfect for sad occasions
- Perfect for sexy occasions
- Perfect for montages (80’s style date montages)
- Perfect for filling awkward silences & meaningful glances
- Perfect for calming you down (almost to a catatonic state) during a fit of rage
- Perfect for swaying back and forth
- Perfect for singing obnoxiously loud on an empty street in the middle of the night with your pals
- Perfect background music for brilliantly ironic proposals.
It’s practically fit for ever occasion there is. Oh, did I mention it’s catchy as hell? I just thought I’d share this discovery with you all… you never know when it might come in handy.
ATTN Women Everywhere: PROBLEM SOLVED!
I could be a wedding planner. Take a look at this masterful Wedding Invitation template for an “Average Themed Wedding” inspired by @VScullion, and brought to life by yours truly ( @ariannetong ) and Microsoft Paint.
Night on the town? Phone, credit cards & cash, but no pockets? Have no fear! The timeless tale of women “about to get their dance on” is about to come to a startling conclusion! THE JOEYBRA! The days of loonies, toonies & dollar bills stuck to your chest the next morning are OVER. Now, all your valuables can be safely tucked away in a side pocket in bra!
Sure, you might get Breast Cancer, but you ‘ll look f*****g fabulous! Nothing says class act like pulling cash from your bosom (or slightly under your armpit).
I love this idea. However I don’t think it’s necessarily a “lady-like” move for everyday use. It’s more of an FYI - this is your designated “Party Bra”!
Life & Responsibility summarized.
When your landlord <3’s you, you get a new ceiling fan.